U10D1 Project Draft Feedback
My final Paper is at the URL: 10 Evaluation Standards ED 7503.pdf
U10D1 Comment from Sandra:
I like the way you brought in many of the theories from the course, including Bloom's Taxonomy. The reference to enterprise systems is good too--you might even expand a bit if you keep this in to include more about learning management systems and how they enable authoring as well.
Sandra, I have added an appendix to my paper concerning the use of learning management systems for cognitive learning.
Comment from Kathy:
Nice job on your paper. I like how you incorporated learning theories and cover the requirements for learning that we covered in class. I agree with Sandra though in that you might want to add more on the application of your standards to the authorware that you have chosen. There may be too many spaces between your paragraphs that you might want to check on.
I have removed the spaces between the paragraphs. Thank you for your comments, --- Richard
Comment from Patricia:
I have just read your paper and find that its succinctness and clarity make it very accessible. The main points are clearly and logically presented. Your writing style is effective and your content is right on.
Comment from Linda:
Your paper, like this class, covers a broad spectrum of topics related to the cognitive effectiveness of instructional media tools. Like this class, your paper leaves me "looking for the common thread" of knowledge or a central theme that applies to all of the topics. For example, in your discussion of the standard "The ability to synthesize prior learning", I like how you describe how the authoring tool Flash can be used to create learning objects. It would be cool to see you discuss the application of all of your standards to instructional media tools. I know you address this topic in your conclusion but I would like to see the conclusion reflect the theme of the paper.
Comment from Tim:
Your draft looks great. I think you did a very nice job of tying everything together. Your paper had a definite flow to it. I found moving from one section to another to be a bit challenging, so really benefited from seeing your draft.
Comment from Trina:
I think your paper is well written. You provide sound arguments for your evaluation criteria. A suggestion that I have is to include an abstract for your paper and maybe a longer introductory paragraph. Although we have been allowed to stray a little from APA guidelines, an abstract would have provided a synopsis of your paper prior to reading the entire paper. Think of an abstract as a brief synopsis (120 word or less according to APA guidelines). It is your opportunity to entice a reader to read your entire paper, which in research circles can be quite lengthy. Including a longer introductory paragraph would also give the reader a hint about what information is to follow. You begin your discussion right away about models of learning and architectures without providing a background about why you are discussing it. If you are writing for a specific audience this will be fine. Since you obviously put a lot of time into writing this paper, it should be able to stand alone�meaning its purpose should be clear to anyone who reads it in the future, not just to the individual who assigned you the task of writing this paper. Also, without more background info in the introduction the paper might be a bit confusing to a reader particularly because the title of your paper is: Ten Evaluative Standards for Assessing the Cognitive Effectiveness of Instructional Media. There is no mention of the word �cognitive' until page 5. As peers we know what your paper is supposed to be about. But it probably would not be clear to someone who is not a class member. Please remember that these are just my comments. If you have questions please email me. Thanks!
I have added an abstract to the paper. Thank you for your suggestion.
Comment from Adrienne:
Richard your inclusion of the courses theories made for an excellent draft. It was informative.
My comment to Tim about his paper:
Your paper is full of useful information and charts. The only addition I thought you might consider is numbering or indicating (say, by underlining or italics) the 10 evaluative standards that are contained within the paper.
My comment to Wendy about her paper:
I think comparing Dreamweaver to Flash is like comparing apples to oranges but that is what we were asked to do -- you have certainly covered a lot of that information in your paper covering the two software tools. I think the two programs are used together to form a total package. So the learning system is a sum (or product) of the two functionalities.
My URL for this class, ED 7503, is: ED7503UnitEx.htm
U10D2 comment from Kaylyn about my site:
Richard, What a wonderful site!
It has proven amazing what everyone has accomplished in this class. Your site is easy to navigate and definitely enjoyable to read. I found your postings to be of good design and the class objectives nicely organized.
Comment from Robert Elmore:
I agree, and I want to say to all of you, though you may have experienced a lot of frustration dealing with these tools, I am amazed at what you have accomplished, considering that many of you had no experience with these tools prior to the course.
Richard - you had an overall neat layout, simple, but it worked well. I like the overall page design centered on the page.
Comment from Catherine:
I love the color blue! I like the way you have links to the different assignments and posts. Great job on your site!
I used to never know what to answer when someone asks what is my favorite color but after my websites I guess I would have to answer it's the color blue.
Comment from Patricia:
Interesting site. I especially like the Coursebuilder exercise and your Flash exercise was great!
have spent quite a bit of time on your site enjoying all that it has to offer. I would love to learn to use Flash the way you do, is the TS551 class the place to do that?
Comment from Artemis:
Your Web site is well thought off and includes simplicity, easy navigation, consistency, and an overall great interface design. I particularly like the simple opening page interface. It reminds me Google: not too many graphics, content, etc. Your consistency on your Web page links is amazing! There is a wealth of information presented and unique ideas as inclusion of peer reviews on the assignments. The light blue top navigation is very effective. However, I would prefer left alignment for all the sub-links (instead of center). Richard, I did excellent on your Dreamweaver quiz! Thanks for mentioning all the Greek philosophers (e.g., Solon, Aristotle, and Plato) as well as providing a plethora of excellent information on democracy of the world! Consider adding some navigation within each set of questions to allow the user to go back to different link sequences, instead of clicking sequentially back or forward. I also clicked on one of your other course projects and was amazed with the graphics and effects of the opening page and accessibility options such sound on or off. Periodically, I had to wait a bit for the pages to download, but I attribute this delay to my 56K modem. Finally, consider changing the opening page background to white with black fonts or changing the ocean blue color to a lighter blue. Overall, your Web site was excellent! Great job!
Comment from Wendy:
I too think that you did a good job and could see your hard work throughout this quarter on your site. I can tell you have learned a lot as your application shows here. Good luck!
Comment from Kathleen:
Richard, You have a winning web site. It is obvious that you have invested a lot of time. Nice job. --- Kathy
Comment from Kathy:
Hi Richard Nice job on the paper and the website. --- Kathy
U10D2 reply to Artemis:
Speaking of Greek philosophers: Without the Greek thinkers, mostly around the 5 th century B.C., our civilization would crumble to the ground. They provided the concepts for philosophy, mathematics and geometry, science, and government, (and many of those mentioned thanks to Aristotle) to name a few, that are used today as the foundation of our world civilization (most people usually say western civilization but I say world civilization.